What Do I Want?

Posted on February 17, 2012

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“What kind of relationship do you want?”  It seems like such a simple question, it was posed to me a few weeks ago, and I was at a complete loss.  So for the past few weeks, I have been thinking about it, and I think I have the answer.

I want a relationship that doesn’t feel like a relationship.  I want it to feel like I am hanging out with my best friend.  I want a person that makes my life feel even better than it is, and not trying to change it.  I want someone who values honesty the same way I do, and lives for sobriety the same way I have to and love to.  I want someone who can be committed, and dedicated, who doesn’t stop fighting because they are tired, but continues to show up because it is important.

I want a person that respects me the way I respect myself, and the way I will be happy to respect him.   I want someone who understands how profound silence can be, and how connected people can be without ever speaking a word.  An understanding of that higher power that blesses our lives, that saved our lives, that cherished our lives when we couldn’t, and loving that higher power unconditionally.  I want someone who is connected to their own spirit and wants to be a piece of mine.

I want someone who has fought for their sanity so they understand the loss of mine.  And someone who is passionate about love, about life, about family, and about inner peace.

I believe it is my responsibility to be all of these things myself, before I can request them in another.  And I have worked so very hard to achieve this, to achieve this person I have become.  And I believe it is my responsibility, upon entering  relationships of sober mind, body, and spirit, with friends, new friends, and family, I want to be a million percent committed to this continued path.  Because when something is meant to be, there is nothing you can do to stop it.

In the process of thinking about this question I realized one thing.

Exactly what I want, is exactly what I have.

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