It’s Not You, It’s Me

Posted on June 14, 2011


Sometimes I have to take a minute and do a little personal inventory of the things going on in my life.  Whether it is job-related, school, boyfriend, family relationships, all areas of my life need to be looked at from time to time.  I have to figure out what is working for me and what isn’t.  So last week I caught myself in the midst of this evalutaion of my life situations, and it tends to make me get a little quiet and a little more reserved and isolated.  But during this time, I realized another little piece of my personal growth.  See, I used to sit around and think about how all the things around me need to change to make me happy.  My job needed to pay me more, my boyfriend needed to be different, school needs to give me less homework…. you get the picture.  But in these moments of reflection last week, I found myself with a totally different outlook.  Like I realized somewhere along the line that people and places are going to be who they are and what they are, there is no changing them.  I found myself considering all the aspects of my life and figuring out if I wanted to be involved, or if I wanted to remove myself.  I wasn’t trying to manipulate every situation to my liking, and I wasn’t thinking about all the changes people need to make to be a part of my life.  If my job doesn’t make me happy, it is not my job’s responsibility to change to make me happy, it is my choice to make changes in my life to make me happy.  Same thing goes for people.  If there is some part of our friendship or relationship that is not healthy, or is hurtful, or is just not compatible, it isn’t for me to demand that you be different.  It is for me to decide if I want to, or need to,  move on.  I was taking responsibility for myself, for my own happiness, and for my future.  If your part in my life is not comfortable for me, I don’t want you to change, but I may decide to move on.  For the first time ever, it’s not you, it’s me.

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