I am kind of freaking out about this whole resume writing business. Things like this make me very uncomfortable. I am making this transition into the real, professional, business world and they have expectations and systems and processes that are very different from the occupational world that I have lived in. I feel like I can not properly portray myself on paper. I don’t know if that is a normal feeling or if normal people are so accustomed to the process that they don’t think about it. I feel like my current job is a piece of my past and it is a direct contradiction to who I am and where I want to go. I feel like I have all of this great experience, and strength, and passion to offer but the moment the contradiction surfaces perhaps I lose all credibility and become undesirable as an employee. I love to speak to people directly because then they will take me seriously. Or even an e-mail, at least then I can show who I really am and I can show that I have what it takes. But this resume thing…this weird list of my life, list of facts, cold and hard, unappealing and black and white. How do you portray yourself? How do I show who I am? How do I get someone to take me seriously? And a bio. Really? A bio? I have to do these things because this is what is expected of me. I don’t know why I feel so much fear with this but I also feel embarassed. Like people will read this weird resume thing and laugh at my obvious inexperience in resume building. Like it will be so remedial the only reaction that is an option is hysterical laughter, then maybe they will e-mail it to all of their friends and co-workers so they too will have the opportunity to laugh at my obvious inexperience in resume building.
I don’t know if normal people have these kinds of hang-ups about these normal things that these normal people do in the normal world, but I am feeling pretty anxious about it. The only thing I can do is, do it. I am making a transition in my life that is huge. I am moving out of the job that I have done all of my adult life, and moving into a career that is an enormous piece of who I am. It is really important to me to get work in my field, to gain experience and make connections to move me forward to the next chapter of my life. I just don’t know how to convey that in a resume.