In Sobriety, Life Happens In The Details

Posted on June 15, 2010

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For me, life really does happen in the details.  I know this may sound kind of strange so allow me to explain.  As an alcoholic, it doesn’t take much to throw me off my game.  I am super sensitive, I naturally blow things out of proportion, and I am very undisciplined by default.  I know, it sounds exhausting, and it is!  So for me to stay on track I have to be very regimented.  Not only in the regular stuff like going to meetings, but in the things that ‘regular’ people don’t even think about.  For instance-  I like to keep my home very clean.  I am organized, clean, and put everything where it belongs.  Every once in awhile I find myself getting lazy.  The clothes start to pile up in the bedroom, the bed is unmade, dishes in the sink….and it makes me crazy.  It is in those little details that I realize that I am being lazy and undisciplined.  And if I continue to be lazy and undisciplined then I can sink to levels that I have no desire to visit!  It is really important TO me as well as FOR  me that I stay on t0p of these little things because it is a direct reflection of how I am feeling on the inside.  When I am really feeling good about myself, my life, my path, you would never see a single thing unkempt- but when I am feeling insecure, lonely, or lost then you see things in disarray.  That’s where I am today, in disarray.  I am lacking that keen sense of accomplishment that I so desire and strive for.  I am off my game.  I am not writing as many blogs as I would like, I am not spending time with sober friends like I would like, I am just not staying on top of the things that I am trying to achieve.  And the details are a constant reminder.  When I walk into my house and see random things strewn about, I am instantly reminded that I am being lazy and undisciplined.  If I’m not keeping up on the details then I know I’m not keeping up on the big really important stuff.  So today, I am turning it around, I am going to take care of the little things and the big things while I have the time.  I am going to regain that feeling of being a person that gets things done instead of a person that only talks about getting things done.  In the big picture, grand scheme of things, the person I want to be is dedicated, dependable, honest, and motivated.  It may take a little more work for me to achieve these things, but I do it, and I do it consistently.  So today, this is my wake up call, to get off my a** and get back in the game!

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